its the end.........

this is my last poSt on xanga under this name. so, before i end this, lets re-caP the what happened since the last time i pOsted. from reading the last post, you should know that i was goin through some tough shit.  i was stressin off of school, my best friend and i had gOtten into aN argumEnt, and shit wasnt goin Right 4 me. well, since then, i think things had gotten a little better. ive been hanging  with the old crew again(alex, jonel and jarreau.) on fridays we usually go out and watch a movie and eat. i tried to fix my friendship with my bestfriend, and i think i did, but things dont seem like they used to be. maybe she doesnt want to be my friend anymore? who knows? school has been goin alright. so far, i have 1 (a), one (b) and one (c). and in the span of thirty days, i have gotten three new pairs of shoes. safari dunk hi, shimizus and the forbes(hunters).i wanted to get a triple 5 soul hoody, but no cash for it right now. thats about it. again, this is my last post on xanga under this name. i have a new xanga name, and if you want to find out what it is for some reason, go take out all the capital letters and and numbers(not the numbers i spelled out) in order and itll give you my new name. my new xanga name is the same name i post under on nt. peace

if you get my new name, visit the site and you will be rewared.

If you are reading this, I just want to say that I am really really sorry.I know that you feel like I was pushing you away, but I wasn't. I'd never do that. I was just going through HELLA shit at the same time. The stress just overwhelmed me. Don't think you were the only person I was being an ass to. Everybody around me was a victim to my stupidity.

You know deep down that you are my best friend and that I care alot about you. Just because I haven't talk to you for a while does not mean that I don't care for you anymore. The reason for me not calling you is because everytime im on the phone with you, you seemed distracted. I'm not blaming you or anything, I know you have roomates and what not.You are a busy person. 

I tried calling you a couple times about a week ago so we can talk, but you wern't there. Your roomate said she would tell you that I called, but I don't know if she ever did. I just assumed that you did get the message and that you didn't want to talk to me.And when I called you on the phone when you asked me too, remember I wasn't saying anything, it's because my Dad was sitting right next to me. I couldn't go anywhere else in the house because all the other rooms were occupied. My sister from Texas was here, so Lani and her mom was in my room. I could't go in the backyard or in the garage because I was sick and those places were just too cold for me to handle.

Another thing, the stuff that I read on your Xanga caught me off guard. It just surprised me. You drinking and all that, goin with dude into his room, it just surprised me. I know you're a smart and responsible person, but I worry. That dude could have easily taken advantage of you. I pray every night that nothing bad ever happens to you. I would rather have bad shit happen to me than you. Thats how much I care about you. I also read about this guy names Mikey. I'm guessing that's your new boyfriend. Reading about him just made me feel bad cause as a person who still has some feelings for you, reading that type of shit hurts alot.

All these things plus some shit happening at home have all contributed to me acting like an asshole. I don't expect you to not be mad anymore, I just want you to know the reasons why I was acting the way I did. I'm sorry.

And to everyone else I was being an ass too, sorry.

John

Tisk tisk tisk.............

My stupid ass got dropped from class today. I failed on both of the test's that we had for History of Modern Architecture. The teacher gave me my test and said that I will am being withdrwn from the class. Damn! I fucked up. Things are not going good.

*I wish the good old days of high school.

No rain today!

The weather today was pretty nice.Went to school today. same as usual. Classes are starting to get really boring. I hope I gain some interest in them again. For the past two days I've been sleeping at 11. I think I am going to start sleepin early. I also ran tonite. Fun. Thats it.

*I'm not crazy im just a little unwell

What am I to do?

I think I am failing my history of modern art class. I try to study and all that, but the shit is just too boring. I cheeated on my test today, and I have a feeling that I am still going to fail on that test. Oh yes, I am a loser.

*I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, diddly diddly.